Heaven

The heartbreak of loss is so searing

So immediate

Even after years have passed

I guess you cannot understand it, unless you’ve lost

The guilt that your loss still cripples your heart, when some have lost more

When you search for perspective that slips from your grasp like a glass from clumsy hands

Haunted by the endless, unanswerable questions

You close your eyes

Try to fill your lungs

Breath shudders in and out

Clenching your eyes shut

Reaching out with your spirit to a tender hand

You whisper

“Be with me”

As tears pour down your face

“Hold me”

As you clutch your chest

“Heal me”

Perhaps death is not the punishment we feel it to be, our hearts wrapped around narratives of terror

Could we dare to bend our minds to an alternate reality

That illusive moment where healing happens

Where miracles manifest

Wholeness leaking into our timeline

We glimpse a place that holds no darkness

Where predators and prey are friends

We try to catch it like fireflies in jars

Like a word caught at the end of our tongue

“Heaven”

“Sweet heaven”

Where death is not the punishment we fear

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