We Can Trust Him

Faith, Poetry

I’ve come to loathe negative “I am” statements…

I am where I am

I’ve been where I’ve been

No amount of striving is going to rewrite my history or quick fix my flaws

My mind has succumbed too many times to the visible and invisible taunts of worthlessness

Inflicted by self, by careless words in well meaning mouths or downright spat out with spite by people also lost inside their own mental health plights

Mine is a life potholed by moments of rejection which have so often threatened to incapacitate my person

But greater than any rejection is my confidence that I am accepted, by God no less, and who would argue with him?!

The devil is who and he’ll make you believe that God hates you, but there is absolutely no foundation or slither of truth there

So I’ve started asking a different question, not who do I say I am

But I ask who does God say I am and I choose to believe it, regardless of feelings

The power in truth is no hippy notion of filling our lives with physical satisfactions which are only fleeting distractions

I have found the power in truth, is that, spoken out loud and chosen inside it begins to uproot the lies that degrade our lives and in its place grows a tree of life

Irrevocable value takes root

It forms a system in my heart that holds together the banks that previously threatened to fall apart

Each root a whisper from heaven writing a love song in the depths of my soul

You are forgiven, you are loved, you are accepted, you are protected, you are redeemed, you are worthy of love, you were seen before you were conceived, you were held in the womb, you are treasured, you have a purpose and that purpose is to be known and loved and to know and love your Creator, you have a God given right to be alive just as you are right now

Because His love isn’t forceful but it is a force, His grace takes you on a journey to freedom without guilt

He celebrates you in the light of Jesus

He, the Holy Spirit, is the greatest of counsellors leading us alongside gentle waters and green pastures, even when storms are raging overhead he’ll help us find rest amidst the maelstrom and give us power to command its stillness

God knows we’re not perfect and doesn’t expect it, but he also knows that being in his presence will help us navigate the mines in our mind fields

Fear cannot exist where perfect love is

So I choose to see myself through the lense of his love

I am not lost, I’m found and this pavement of peace that I walk on is hedged in by grace

No one is lost in the light of his love, we can trust him

Unforced Journey

Faith, Poetry

I’m no longer in a hurry to prove myself to anybody

When I thought as a child, negative opinions would have cut me down

But I’m learning the unforced journey

Reaching for the “well done” from the one who knows my name and everything that my heart contains

You may not see it, my outward appearance isn’t always attractive

I fumble and stumble and make awkward advances for the kingdom

But I’m learning the unforced journey

Reaching for the “well done” from the one who knows my name and everything that my heart contains



The more I grow up, the “older” I get
The more I realise
I don’t want to be sexy
I don’t want to be a perfect picture of beautiful
I don’t want to spend my time laboriously working on my handles, or thighs, or surfboard stomach
The more I grow up the more I cringe at the flattering remarks
Even though I give them out myself to friends and family and strangers
It’s nice to complement and be complemented
But I’m tired of my inner dialogue of comparison
This conversation of comparison that dehumanises me
Holding myself and others up to some ridiculous standard of humanity

Now I find I’m falling in love with authentic
Authentic is attractive in a way that doesn’t pull the lust strings
Authentic is beautiful in a way that doesn’t scream “why wasn’t I born that way?”
Authentic is attainable
Authentic is not needing to prove myself to anybody
Authentic is loving who I am
Working on my shortcomings without feeling like a failure for having them
Being confident in my gifts and abilities, without feeling small if others have more
I can love more purposefully, more purely because authentic is not about what others can give me, authentic is about how I contribute by just being me

Perfect does not exist
I fail, regularly
Often have views that need adjusting or throwing out
I let my friends down, I’m not always there for my family
Daily I know, there are things I could do better
But I do say I’m sorry, I do try harder
But I’m only human and I know I’ll not get through this life without upsetting some people
I’m done with trying to be who I perceive others want me to be
I’m done with being crippled by insecurity
I’m glad to say I have virtues that I admire in myself
I love who I am
Being able to say that hasn’t come easily
But I believe it’s a vital journey to undertake
To strip away the world’s expectations
Strip away the hate and negative opinions
Learn to just be you, sit with whatever and wherever life has taken you
And tell yourself, “I love you!”